We have absolutely loved starting the NMT Cycle at New Hope. This post will start a 6 week series on the NMT cycle and how you can start it at home. We have seen miracles in the short 2 weeks since starting it and want the same for you!
Recognizing Dysregulation in ourselves.
It’s different for everyone, but I found for my child, it was important for me to learn about my own feelings and dysregulation before I could help him.
Here are some questions you might use to ask yourself:
- What does it feel like? (anger, hurt, betrayal, disappointment, etc)
- Where in your body do you feel it? (stomach ache, head hurting, want to run or escape, etc)
- What prompted the dysregulated feeling? (being told a lie, physical assault, one child hurting a sibling, a big mess in the house, etc...)
The only way I could keep myself from reacting (anger, explosive) in the beginning was literally to just stop everything.
I had to step away. Take a break. Have my child or whoever the negative interaction was happening with take a break as well or at least have them honor my request to take a break (healthy boundaries!) and take some time to just think.... and feel....
Ask myself those questions:
- What does it feel like?
- Where in your body do you feel it?
- What prompted the dysregulated feeling?
One option might be to get a journal or notebook and just write those questions in the beginning of the notebook. Then each time you start to feel like you might escalate or react in a non therapeutic way, you could go and take 7-10 minutes to journal it out.
Next week we will talk about step two! Getting back to regulation and what it REALLY takes to do it!
I want to invite you to start this week with ONLY step one. Focusing on YOU. See if your parenting partner (if you have one) would like to join you. Don’t worry about any other steps, just work on creating that healthy boundary and removing yourself and journaling. Get that step into place, then we can worry about the next step!
If you want to go deeper on the NMT cycle, we have an awesome course offered on our website and also coaching calls if you find you are needing more personal coaching.
Good luck! And please let us know how things are going!